My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize