Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
