I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
