sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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