Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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