The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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