I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
