Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
