I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
