After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
