Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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