I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
As shirtless as possible
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
