hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize