Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
