I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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