if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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