NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
