and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
