Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Text me some of your sweat
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
