Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
