You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
do nipples grow back?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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