i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
