You can't motorboat a personality
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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