So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
