If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
