I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
