Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
