we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
