I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
