I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
