Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
