We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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