yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
