I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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