I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
