Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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