idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize