It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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