So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
