she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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