So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
