She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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