The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
