Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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