I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
