I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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