When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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