I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I need a beard to bite.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
