What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Pappa wants mamma naked
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
