I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
