Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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