If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
