hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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