I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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