have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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