I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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