Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This is my gift to your gina
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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