lets start a swedish sibling band together
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
