i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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